Being a girl isn’t easy. I don’t know where to begin from but you feel me, right?
First the society teaches us how to groom ourselves and behave like a lady. How ‘the parlour’ is the magical place we need to visit every month, put ourselves through a treacherous process of pouring hot wax on our skins and have it ripped right off with every strand of hair from our bodies. How we need our lips to be pink, our eyebrows in a shape rarely granted naturally. Our nails, clean and coloured. But not too coloured or tacky, long and in shape, but doing our chores carefully enough not to break them or we’ll have to go through the whole process of getting them to look perfect for a couple of 24-hours. Applying chemical products to erase the scars received both intentionally and unintentionally. For acne and complexion too.
Then they tell us what to wear and what not to wear. How short skirts and crop-tops don’t fit in our culture. How baggy jeans and lose shirts make you look too boy-ish. How always keeping your hair open makes you look like you’re trying too hard. And boy-cuts mean you’re an unethical rebel.
Do the first thing they say about self grooming, going out wearing the short clothes you love, makes you an uncultured woman asking for attention. Don’t go through all the pain you’re put through at a parlour and dare to wear short clothes and be called hideous. Or go through the self grooming process, only to wear acceptable clothes that hide your skin. To feel like a box of classic presentation only wrapped to be unwrapped.
And then some percentage of this society calls you ‘backward’ or orthodox. Fuck them and go out in your favourite little black dress and dare to apply some make-up to look prettier and you become a woman for show with no brains or values.
Oh boy is this tougher than a rubix cube or what! No matter what you do, you’ll always be tagged as something you were never really aiming for. But you know what the worst part is? It is us who slowly becomes a part of this society. It is us, women, who tag other women as ‘orthodox’, ‘ugly’ or ‘sluts’. We judge them, we mock them, we bring them down to look superior to them. And this starts in school itself. Are realisations dawning?
It’s us who have gradually sketched a picture of an ideal woman. We want to be her, we hate ourselves for wanting to be her, hating on the society for making us wanting to be her. But doing nothing about it. See the amount of negations in that sentence? We are living with that each passing day.
Don’t believe me? Do you really think us, women, would put ourselves through all this if we chose not to? It is us making ourselves suffer. What happens when we stop giving a fuck about what men think about our clothes, make-up or body? I guess they’ll just have to live with it.
And what happens when us women stop judging or pulling each other’s hair down? Well then, we’ll have a beautiful world, with women building each other up.
Shirt: Ralph Lauren
P.C: Abdullah Khan